Just like the ocean needs the waves
Just like the stars that fall around me now
Ashley
Tagboard
I'm too far, too far; For you to come and save me. Redemption comes knocking on my door, I begin to slowly disintegrate. Exanimate. My body, torn apart, separated. I shiver. My soul. My soul, it grasps for air in the outside world. Breathe, I need to breathe. Hesitation kicks in. My mind is filled with doubt. But it's too late. Don't try to save me now. I'm long gone.
Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace
exanimate
July 23, 2008, 3:59 PM
For some reason, I decided to tickle my pretty much dead Lj account today. But I won't be moving to Lj anytime soon! It's kinda sad how everyone reads your blog and doesn't tag. And especially since it's Lj, all the more so. People aren't gonna comment after reading your posts. So unless I feel as though I don't feel like reading people's tags, I won't move. Perfect cue for you to start jumping around and squealing like a happy elephant.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older
Older-Colbie Caillat
Hell yea it's tough getting older. Dealing with all sorts of shit. Responsibilities, responsibilities, responsibilities. I hate being anchored down by everything that I'm held on to and I desperately want and need to be freed.
I want to be like a red balloon, soaring free, soaring high. Out of reach.
Then no one can touch me, no one can tell me what to do. No one, can decide for me how my life turns out.
The House on Mango Street
Changes.
"You've changed so much."
So many people have told me that I've changed, I can't even count them on both my hands. I've gotten used to hearing that line to the extent that it doesn't affect me anymore. Rewinding back to when someone first told me that, I would explode and say "WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DIDN'T CHANGE AT ALL." But now that I turn my head and look back at the past 3 years, I see a drastic change in myself. I've changed in so many ways, both good and bad.
I suppose over the years, I've matured just a little. From the primary school days, the "I don't friend you"s and the "Guys suck, throw rocks at them" have slowly disintegrated into different thoughts and ways of life.
Entering secondary school, I guess there was much more to life than I thought there was. It wasn't just the everyday childish squabbles which used to occur oh-so-often in primary school. Instead, quarrels turned into vicious catfights and as a result, there was always someone who was bound to be hurt.
And then, there was this word. This unexplainable feeling I felt about perhaps, a special person. A word, a feeling called love.
I thought I knew what love was. Relationships began and from there, I thought life was at its best. But things started dying down and the so called love started to wane. I started thinking if my thoughts and ideas of love lasting forever and ever meant anything in the first place. Doubt started kicking in, did everything just start off as just a good feeling? Then things started screwing up and then, it was gone. I felt like the whole world just crashed down on my shoulders. Lying in bed every night, toss and turn endlessly. Tears trickle down cheeks like endless floods. But gradually, I get over it. Then life started all over again from a different angle. People started to say I changed. But I just let all the words pass through from one ear to the other.
And then, something else happened. I met a person, a new person. And the same things happened. Unfortunately, I migrated to Hong Kong. I saw another side of the world I had never expected to see. School seemed like just another popularity contest, just bitchier. I hated school so much. I was pretty much, a depressed kid on the block. But then, I started settling into this new world I never thought I'd see and I became another one of them. Back in sg, just like before. It was gone. For reasons I won't state here but it disappeared. Then I settled into life and started accepting things for what they were. But when I went back during CNY, even more people started to say I changed. I looked in the mirror, but I still couldn't see what was the difference. I constantly asked myself, "Did I change?" But, I never seemed to be able to find an answer to that question until recently.
I changed, drastically. In so many ways, I changed into something I'd never have seen myself as 3 years ago. Who was I then? Who am I now? I started to see the difference. And then I looked around, friends from those days transforming into what they are at present. Then, I realised. It wasn't just me, it was everyone else.
So this was an, interesting reflection. I grew up, I matured and I changed. Even though I guess I wasn't as immature as before, I just got some sense knocked into my head. I am still an immature kid. Despite all the changes. But I do know one thing, I'm not the same person I was years ago. I'm different, way different.
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x.x
i dont know what that was about. poofieee
Learning Fest this Sat. Then I can see my lovelies :)